Well, it's official. You don't have to wait in anticipation any longer. PETA has finally announced the winners of the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door contest for 2012.
That's right, out of the thousands of notable applicants, voters narrowed the competition to ten finalists and now finally to two winners.
Winners Tiana Rae (San Jose) and Zachary (Brooklyn) have won a trip to Hawaii as a reward for their hotness. So that means a break from beauty pageant responsibilities for Tiana though we assume that Zachary can still enjoy his active lifestyle of yoga, rock-climbing and biking in the Aloha state.
You may be asking, why should I care about these hotties winning an amazing vacation? Where does the issue of sexiness fit in with the current global economic hardships, immense animal cruelty issues, an obesity epidemic, and current and impending wars?
Well, just asking questions like that shows you just don't get it. You see, sexiness is the only way PETA knows how to express the urgent issue of animal rights. If PETA could effectively change ideas through discourse, they might encourage the winners to appear at animal rights events over the next year, much like pageant winners. Instead, PETA knows the best way to encourage positive change for animals is to send sexy people to Hawaii because that is what the sexiest of us really deserve.
So we would like to say bravo to PETA for once again getting it right and focusing on the important issues, such as who among us is the sultriest veggie-eater. Now excuse us as we go work on tans for next year's competition. Speedos coming through!